Madonna

Bruna

Jeremy Pattnosh

Dashiel

Charles Kurtz

Raymond Hall

Kate Magill

Susan Porter

Timmy Leight

The Landlady

Michael Dane

Transvestite Slave

Russell O. Lome

Male Slave

Angi Smit

Female Slave

Joseph Pattnosh

Father

Ann Pattnosh

Mother

John Joseph Pattnosh

Young David

Chuck Varesko

Narrator

Karl Ludwig Selig

Professor Mann

Ed Krakaur

Learning Center Friend

Charles Daguerre Alvaré

Preston Basset (as Charles Daguerre Alvare)

Daniel Merrit Lundquist

Basset's Friend

Brian D. Coleman

Snob with Glasses

Peg Kronnenberger

"Such a Jerk" Girl

Dianne O'Shey

Susan's Friend

David Stone

Seated Bore at Party

Ron Sterel

Male Listener No. 1

Sandy Stern

Male Listener No. 2

Victoria Chalk

Female Listener / Chorus Girl with Gag

Mohammed

First Waiter

Jason

Limousine Driver

Helga Parmutter

Waitress